maturity in relationship

How to be more mature in a Relationship

Does everyone want maturity in a relationship?

Yes, people want maturity in a relationship.

Does no one want to look like an immature person?

What we can do to have maturity in a relationship? Right

Now if I ask what maturity really is and how we can pretend to be a mature person?

Does this include an age bar?  Not at all. I personally believe that maturity comes with experience. It doesn’t matter how much of an age group you are.

Your attitude, your perception, your abilities, and the way you see the world from your eyes is always different from someone else.

Everybody has some kind of maturity within themselves. You don’t need a tag from another person that you are mature or not.

I believe that you are mature enough to understand everything. Because you are pushing yourself for that.

Take a look at yourself. You are reading this article for improving and this is the biggest sign of maturity. You need to put yourself under the shoes of someone to understand them better. I won’t recommend you do that. 

Sometimes what you see is people react to things very differently. One person may not get affected by a thing in comparison to another. You should try talking to these kinds of people. Not because I am saying but also to have an understanding of how they can behave in a certain situation. One thing is sure you won’t get affected by all the people in your life. 

For a moment assume that someone is negative or suffering from some issues. What you can do to change that kind of behavior and help them. If the person is reacting negatively to a thing just spark them with some positively or by your own thoughts or example. 

Now let’s take an example of mine. 

I was into this for a long time. Guiding people on how to improve their relationship. I meet various kinds of people with different thoughts. I like listening to them. There issue and what can I do to help them. 

I have seen a lot of people who are in relationships and they just pretend to be a mature person. On the other hand what they are doing is just simply pushing their partners to agree on some issue, to say yes in everything, to share all the privacy things.

But why?

Why is there a need to do this? 

I mean that person is not understanding the basics of a relationship. Relationships, love, all these things are gained with a lot of effort. You need to take care of a lot of things. 

The other person is trusting you. Sharing their daily life, thoughts with you.

On the other hand what you are doing and what you are supposed to do in that scenario. I

Before jumping directly into how we can act like a mature person. Let’s first take a deep dive into why it is important to be mature in a relationship.

maturity in a relationshipImportance of maturity in a relationship

Why is it so important for you to be mature enough? Do you want to grow your relationship and take it to the next phase? Or else you never want to lose that person. And another one can be you don’t want to fight a lot for small issues which are creating misunderstandings between both.

Nowadays girls and boys both need a mature person who can understand so that they can have maturity in a relationship. Who can provide a better future? And more importantly, you may want to marry that person. 

 What maturity does?

  • It improves the ability to make good and prompt decisions.
  • It gives you the power to influence others
  • It serves you with more important and wise decisions
  • More stability in your life
  • The way you see things gonna change
  • It more often hinders you from taking bad or wrong decisions.
  • Things become easy to handle
  • You are more likely to give long term commitments
  • You will take time to express the gratitude more often
  • Your decisions won’t be based on the feelings but more on the situation or the character
  • You will start avoiding criticism 
  • Give priority to more important things in your life 

How will you bring a maturity your relationship?

Here are some of the things I personally recommend that you do. Not just for your partner but you and your happy & healthy relationship.

  • Treat them with respect 
  • Care for your partner 
  • Have some transparency in your relationship
  • Plan for your future
  • Give surprises and other stuff
  • Take time to understand your partner
  • Prioritize the comfort of other
  • Don’t be an overthinker
  • Give each other some space or privacy
  • Power of taking decisions on the behalf of both.
  • Never be Over Possessive 
  • Don’t leave the hands which you have hold first

1. Treat them with respect 

Assume for a moment. You are in a relationship with someone and the person treats you with all the respect and dignity. Isn’t it cool?

Many relationships broke due to this reason. They don’t know how important it is to give respect to your partner with whom you want to spend the rest of your life. Everyone has their self-respect. And nobody ever likes to the downside that. 

What I mean here is giving respect like obeying each other, their decisions or more importantly their family. Treating them with love and compassion. And see the change after doing this thing. You will feel more comfortable in the relationship when someone treats you like this. And this is how slowly and gradually you find maturity in a relationship.

Even as a girl my first need from a relationship is this only. I want someone who can respect me and more importantly my decisions. I think this is something inbuilt within us. Because from our childhood we won’t grow up in an environment which is quite demandable and disrespectful.

Presume that may be by mistake or willingly your loved ones hurt you. Did that mean you should talk like an annoying and disgusting person? Don’t do this. Whatever may be the circumstances, don’t forget to respect your loved ones. Especially when you are hurt. It would look like even in the future you are going to react like this in the same manner.

2. Care for your partner

I want to talk about the care which our parents do. Can’t we do the same for someone whom we want for the rest of our life?

No one likes to spend time with a selfish person.

I myself have felt this feeling. I have a person in my life who cares for me. He always takes care of my health. Whenever I need anything he is there for me. Even when we fought due to some reason then also he doesn’t forget about love. I have seen a lot of people who mix ego and attitude in their relationship. I mean what is the need for that. 

Can’t you just love a person eternally?

I have never done this. To be very honest. I have been in many relationships. I have always taken care of my relationship and the person I am with. I have always shown maturity in a relationship.

Your ego and attitude is a separate thing. Don’t put this in your relationship otherwise you’re gonna lose that person. I can bet you on this. 

I have seen many times what people do and that’s vague. Completely. Why because showing ego and attitude with your loved ones can never be a part of maturity in a relationship.

3. Transparency in relationship 

What do I mean by transparency? 

Transparency is sharing important things that are associated with your relationship. All those things which you think are important to know for your partner. So that the person who is with you can share their problems and feel free to talk about anything. It helps a lot in knowing the other person.

Let me give you one of the examples of mine

I want to tell you about my ex. This is the most liked quality in him sooner. the relationship was great. Uhmm in front of that guy I used to talk very less. I don’t feel like talking much at that time. But that guy has told me each and everything about him. Without even asking. He always tried to keep the transparency so that we both can understand each other. He has done and everything to make the relationship a mature one.

I am saying he was mature in some aspects like this. But the way he loved me and the transparency he kept when we were in the relationship was just wonderful. And for that reason every time I was so sure about him that whatever be the situation he can’t do this thing and that. And that was so true. He always kept my trust.

Hats off to that person. I genuinely have not seen this quality in any other guy. 

4. Take time to understand their capabilities 

In this world, everyone possesses a separate personality. No one is like you and no one can ever be like you. We all are unique in some aspects. In our Perception, our thoughts, the way we react is different. Due to all these facts, there is a need to understand your partner. Understanding your partner in itself reflects the long survival of your relationship. 

There are two pillars of the relationship :

The first one is understanding and the second is trust. 

One cannot live a happy relationship without both of these. You need to have trust and understanding with your partner. It helps you. What happens is sometimes we face some kind of problem and are not able to do what our partner is saying or whatever the reason is. Your partner should have the ability to trust you and understand you. 

You can build trust in your relationship and understanding. There is no hard and fast rule. If you genuinely love a person you will try to understand and trust them this is only what keeps your relationship long going.

Because what happens is you are living happily and someone tries to enter between both of you. (you can call it a third party). At that time what you generally do is start doubting your partner. You will say harsh words and maybe those harsh words which you have said just because of your angriness become the reason why your partner should choose the other one in comparison to you.

And very frankly there is always a person who will try to harm your relationship. So you should try to understand your partner and trust them.

5. Give surprises to your partner 

Try to make every moment beautiful just like the stars in the sky. Spend time with your partner.

Not just time but the quality time. When you take a look at some of the very moments from the past which are quite unforgettable. All of us have some kind of expectation from our loved ones. 

If I take a look back I can right now also imagine myself with my love the time we spend together, the way he proposes to me for the first time on a phone call. The way he holds my hand and shares a lot of talks. That is what makes a relationship more memorable.

Here Surprise can be for your anniversary, birthday, random surprises, celebrating days, or a lot more. I won’t recommend that you buy expensive things for your partner. If you want,  you can but here I am more likely to talk about the moments which no one can easily forget. You know we have some moments from our past which nobody would easily forget. Not everyone is impressed by the money or gifts you gave to them. But some belief in taking a deep depth inside you.

You know there is always one person whom you want to understand and feel by heart. Your heart knows what is right for you and wrong even if the mind stops guiding you. 

Plan trips and tours. Go on a vacation. Spend time. Have some destination party or date. Offer them a rose and propose to your loved ones like the first time when you had.

6. Give each other some space to build a stronger bond

You don’t need to cut off your conversation for that. It’s just to give them some space for their comfort zone. Don’t force your partner to do anything which they don’t feel like doing. No one is stupid. Everyone knows what they are doing. 

I mean don’t do the things which are against your relationships. 

Provide some space so that your partner won’t feel he/she is under the restriction of somebody. Someone is taking control of their life. Frankly, I have seen a lot of couples who just put restrictions on their partner. Is this the way you consider to show maturity in a relationship? Definitely NO.

For example where you are going, is this the way you should dress up for the party, share your passwords, don’t hang out with those kinds of people, before going anywhere let me know prior?

You can’t force someone to love you or share something personal with them. Everyone has their privacy terms. Like I don’t like sharing my phone with someone even for a couple of minutes. 

That’s what it is. Anybody may not like such things when it is happening to them.

7. Make plans for future 

Planning includes deciding where you both want to be after five years, what you will do for this relationship to make it possible.

The chances you would like to give each other when you face difficulties. When you are going to talk about your relationship with your mom and dad. Whether they allow you or not. What exactly the circumstances you’re gonna face. 

Think well in advance. Not because it will gonna depress you but you will have clarity about all these. 

Now maybe you are about to say Naina how we can plan for the future because more often we fight a lot? 

Well, every couple fights whether it be on a small thing or big. Many of you say our families won’t agree upon this. What if she/he cheated on me? What will I do if I won’t be able to make her happy? Or what if I have not achieved any position in my career?

My dear, you may be filled with a lot of questions like this. 

If you truly love a person then there won’t be any issue you both will tackle by understanding. This is all about taking priorities ahead. 

Be optimistic. I genuinely recommend you. Because this is the thing that will help you in some of the very difficult situations in your life. 

Every person faces difficulty,  but if you look at any problem, usually it exists for a minimal time. Don’t harm your relationship whatever the reason is. Find a way because I am not able to know your exact problem right now but what I can do at this point is just letting you know that it is just the attitude of seeing things. The way you see the world from your eyes is different from some others.

Try to understand your problems and try to find the solutions. Every problem has a solution. There has not occurred any such problem which doesn’t have a solution.

8. Don’t be an overthinker it will ruin your love life

At times overthinking kills relationships. I know you don’t like seeing your boyfriend or girlfriend hiding some of the things from you. Maybe they lied to you or sometimes in the past an incident has happened due to which you are not able to trust your partner. 

I know you love your partner.

You can also imagine things that even didn’t happen till now. But still, you are thinking. 

The thoughts just went on with flow in your mind. You cry for that person. That is why he/she is doing this.

There are only 5% of the times you are right.

But what about 95%.

 You are overthinking. Stop that. Because it will slowly kill you. There are more important things in your life that want your attention. 

Personally, 5-6 years back I was the same person. I overthink a lot. But if you look at me now you will say how you can be so positive. 

Because I stopped caring for a person who won’t even know my importance. I gave him freedom. That whatever you want to do just do that. Who I am to stop you. Maybe he doesn’t deserve love. 

Try to look for the moments you are blessed at having. And take a deep time into the things which you have now. You will find someone who will love you the way you want. And If something is for you no one will ever gonna take it from you.

6 years back I was in a relationship with a guy who doesn’t even care about my love. I have gone against my family for that person because when I first met he was not at all like this. 

Every person starts showing their true colors when you spend some time with them (1 year). 

Right?

Well at that time what a small kid like me can think of.

I was depressed due to that guy for 2-3 years. 

I will frankly tell you what was in my mind at that time. He was in a relationship with somebody after one year as I have moved from that place and went to some other. 

I never loved another guy as much as him. I used to think about how I would live my life without him. I am surely gonna die. I will never find a better one than him. Why won’t be mine? I used to ask these questions and a lot more to myself.

But later on, what I understand is life has planned something great for everybody. God has a separate plan for you. At this moment you will not be able to see but later on, the magic will happen after hope.

This is what exactly happened after the years. I can find the love of my life. I am happy with the feeling of having him. I am happy with the way he loves me.

Are you able to understand this thing? What is happening exactly?

Hopefully, you are lucky, surely gonna find the love of your life and the one who stays with you at the worst times.

Even if you don’t have that right now but sooner you will realize all of my wordings and what they mean in consideration to maturity in a relationship.

9. Try to come together to build more power and association

Support your partner at their worst. You will find the true person. Who really cares for you. Some may leave your hand sooner. Take the responsibility to help each other, stand for them. 

You will start losing the people in your worst time. This is the harsh reality.

But the bad time comes with something good and special for you. Which right now you don’t know. 

Hold the hands which never leave you. Love your partner that they don’t feel separated from you. Give them a feeling of immense love.

I have realized this thing. We generally give up when someone from our loved ones leaves us. It feels very bad and lonely. Right. I have also felt this feeling. I am not someone other than you.

Show your maturity and love. Take a stand. You are smart enough to make these decisions. 

I already told you in the beginning that age doesn’t matter but your perspective and attitude of looking at things matter a lot. Be a strong person. Show your loved ones that you can do something better for them. They can spend their life with you. You are mature enough to understand things.

Take this approach to life. Do the good things for people whom you care about. But don’t hurt yourself for some other. For me, your mom, dad, you are very important. 

Don’t be over possessive 

After reading this point you may have a general question in your mind. 

Naina, how can I not possessive for my loved ones. Uhmm you can be but on the other hand, you are hurting yourself. A possessive person trying to harm his own relationship. Some take it as a thing to show maturity in a relationship but that was not this case. There is a thin line of difference between being possessive or over possessive. 

Let me ask you?

Why are you over-possessive?

If you love a person, trust them, do care for them. 

They will never leave you. Because no one can understand that person more than you.

You have invested a lot of time in understanding that person.

You know him right.

Just communicate things well in advance and don’t feel like the person won’t understand you.

Everything can be solved just by talking. Don’t be angry with your partner if you feel over possessive. But tell them their importance in your life. How much you love him/her. How you take care of things.

Ask for your improvement areas.

Maybe the other person is not comfortable in anything, just ask politely. And solve your problems. Chances are that you are more likely to overcome this problem just by communicating what is your mind.

Sometimes it’s half the problem solved when we communicate. Your partner should know how much you love them, try to understand them, give them some space and you will see the change.

Conclusion

At last, I want to say do everything possible when you put your efforts into someone. Don’t worry if you face any problems in your relationship. Just try to do all these things which I just said right now. This is how you will find maturity in a relationship or someone as. 

To be frank, building a true relationship takes time involves some effort. Maturity in a relationship comes with a period of time. First, you need to understand that person. What he/she wants. What’re the actual needs from the relationship. What is their definition of “Maturity in a relationship”. Just talk to the person.

Or else try to understand them. Without knowing no one can help or even you also won’t be able to build maturity in a relationship.

If you have any questions in your mind just ask me in the comment section below. Or else if you like this or you have some other things on which I should write about tell me in the comment section. Glad to share my thoughts with you.

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